The List...of things that bother me!

Ok, I need to vent- there are some things that folks do that really get on my nerves. So, I have decided to put it all in a nice little list- if you do any of these things, stop immediately! I may be indirectly calling some of you out...

- Blue tooth- The blue tooth device is a great tool for us cell phone crazed people. We are constantly talking, texting, IMing, doing things on the phone that wasn't capable a few years ago. I love my blue tooth ear piece, but I understand that it is used to talk on - not to have chilling in my ear while I'm at the club!I'm all about hands free (for all of our safety), but if your ass is riding the bus wearing a blue tooth there really is no need.
Take the ear piece out when you are- dining, at an establishment where you can barely hear the individual next to you, a social setting wearing people are conversing with you, church, doctors/ dentist appointments- you ain't that important mutha f*!

- "you know what I'm saying" - we all have conversed with a person who uses the phase " you know what I'm saying," " you hear me," ya know what I mean" as they are still explaining their story. My thought is, which will now be my response- "No, I do not know what you are saying, cause you are still talking, when you complete your sentence, I will have a better understanding of what "you are saying." You gotta finish the sentence for me to "feel ya"

- Gratuity- otherwise known as tipping. For those of you that know me, know that I worked all through college serving patrons at every restaurant out there and surviving off of cash tips. It really bothers me when people don't tip or tip shitty. Yes, we tip depending on service- shitty service deserves a 10% tip, or if it's that bad, have a talk with the manager, decent service should receive 15-20% tip. If you don't know how to figure out what you should leave cause math wasn't your strongest subject in school- for every $10.00 leave $2.00- ex. if the bill is $40- you would want to leave about $7-9. (Even with all this bitchiness, I'm a damn good server!)

-Lap Dogs- If I see one more little f* dog, I just may kick it. The worst are grown men, gay or straight with a lil' shit (lap dog)! It's so wack, I can not stand it! It's just as bad as men with cats! A whole other rant I don't feel like getting into. Obviously, I am not a fan of eithe... Really though, you might as well be wearing carpi's with Tevas (sandals, if ya didn't know), walking your lil' shit dog, ordering a apple martinis or any other fruity drink I can't stand, while rocking a fake tan- you're not going to get any ladies that way!

The list is still growing, will add to it- stay tuned...

"Freelance"

I've decided that the title "freelance" sounds so much better than unemployed. I recently ended a job (very abruptly, but it was my choice) and am now looking for work. But instead of explaining to family & friends, strangers, random folks who inquire about where my life is going- if I say I'm "freelancing" they accept the answer and move on. Technically, I kinda do freelance...
A few other words that I think are ambiguous and over used; marketing, consultant, producer, designer, rapper...I have no problem with any of these titles/careers, but I think if your title is not bringing in an income then it may be time to reassess what it is you want to do- I digress
I now know that I do not want to go into an office everyday, somehow I need to figure out how I can continue to live the "the fabulous life of me" and make a decent living. Now as far as WHAT I really want to do to make a success of myself, I haven't figured that part out yet. In the mean time, I think I'll just hold the title of "freelance marketing consultant"...

40 hrs. a week

This is definitely a rant! As some of you know, I haven't worked a full time job in a LONG time, damn I forgot what's it's like. I realized that I often complain about being broke, but on the flip side--I never work more than 25 hrs. a week. This goes back to me really wanting to be an urban gypsy, a floater, someone who has no ties or commitments--someone the government could never find...But I guess that's not really "adult" like behavior. And I could be easily found, since I shop it up, I can easily be tracked from every transaction I make from here to LA. I digress-- 40 hours a week, I feel that I can do a supreme job in about 8 hours a day 4 days a week=32 hr. work weeks. This is my idea of the perfect work situation (if you are not self employed, and have to go into a office) arrive in the 9:30-10:00 window (I like windows, that way I'm never late) work all day, then leave sometime in the 4-5pm window. But I've realized there is more traffic around 4pm than 6pm, so this is when I should be going to the gym to miss the traffic...
Don't you ever wonder about the folks that are out and about mid-day? At the gym, creating random mid-day traffic--what do these mutha f* do? Not everyone works overnight gigs, is self-employed, or a housewife! Once again, I digress--40 hours a week, but if I was self employed I would be telling a different story. Don't get me wrong, I like what I do and I'm good at it (that's what people tell me ) but I feel like time is so valuable I need to make the most of my 24 hrs.

Just Cause You Won an Oscar

If Three 6 Mafia can have a reality show, then damn it, I deserve one too! I'll admit it, I do watch some dumb ass reality TV shows (I won't list them, since you may judge me) but this one is by far the worst-- between the gold fronts in their mouth and the slurred, southern accent, I can hardly understand anything they're saying!

I'm still trying to figure out why the fuck these boys won an Oscar for that damn song- I think this says a lot about society when one is rewarded for singing about pimps and hoes...Not only is the song wack - the movie wasn't even all that.
But I do enjoy their creative song titles:
Azz & Tittiez
Shake Dat Jelly
Knock the Black Off Yo Ass
Fuck that shit
Get the Fuck Out My Face
Who I Is
Swervin'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGbSaUhV-28

That's what's up

Three days of partying take a toll on oneself. In my younger days, I could drink and stay up late and do it over again and again; now in my late-twenties, by day two I had to have power naps and pace myself. But it was all worth it- art shows, drunken conversations, bbq's, brunches, guitar hero, BYOB (bringing your own booze), wine club, after hour parties, loud ass snorers, deflating airbeds, "dance Tyler dance", sharing secrets, colored coded wrist bands, open bar, and many more things I can't recall...

Dressing Up Your Home

When it comes to buying furniture and decorating your place there is always a way to make your home look inviting and hip, without breaking the bank. BTW- we're getting to old to be buying furniture from Ikea- it's cool when it's your first apartment, but if your 30 years or older it's time to start thinking of investing in furniture...no more particle board!

I'm a fan of minimalist and clutter free living, love bold prints, clean lines and 300 plus thread count sheets. Which is why I'm loving this website http://www.designpublic.com/- they have unique bedding and great furniture designs.

This is a great site to get your creative ideas flowing, someone should enter the contest- "smallest coolest apartment 2007"
http://la.apartmenttherapy.com/

What is a Mandingo?

A Mandingo is a group of black men who have sex with white soccer moms, while their bitch ass husbands watch...ewwww! I kid you not, some brotha by the name of, "Hammer" is charging couples to fuck his boyz from the hood. Hammer is responsible for hosting the parties, and knowing every one's sexual predilections, but of course he doesn't get high on his own supply (keeping it professional). My three favorite quotes from the article-
1-"Hammer's A-team comprises 20 of the more than 100 single black men on his books...they have to have at least eight inches, and most have a college degree."
2- "These women resemble Kathy Bates more than they do Kathy Ireland."
3- "Listen, black guys like bigger women because they can tear it up..."
I get the whole sexual swingers thing, but there is something disturbing about this scenario; it could be the whole racial thing, the fact that these men claim to be professional business people in the day, or that "Hammer" is the man to call upon to arrange these little escapades. A few thoughts-
1)Where did the fascination with white women wanting to fuck a black man come from???
2)Are these men not understanding that they are prostitutes, with a college degree...and Hammer is their pimp
3)If black man #1 gets the wife off all the time, how is the husband to compete with that...8 inches and all? I don't think this is the pathway to a healthy relationship...
4)On the racial tip this is not helping black people move forward, just because "the man" let you fuck his wife, doesn't mean he is going to hire your ass for a job!
5)I know it's not illegal, but it's just weird & wrong!
I'm not making this shit up, peep the article in Details
http://men.style.com/details/blogs/details/biracial_swingers/index.html